My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:
1. what are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?
of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.”
I met you on a Sunday, right
one look and my heart fell into
my stomach like a trap door.
on our second date,
I asked you what you were afraid of.
“spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.”
I asked you if you liked dogs.
“I have three.”
I asked you what you do when it rains.
“sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.”
he smiled like he knew.
like his mom told him the same
“how about you?”
I’m scared of everything.
of the hole in the o-zone layer,
of the lady next door who never
smiles at her dog,
and especially of all the secrets
the government must be breaking
it’s back trying to keep from us.
I love dogs so much, you have no idea.
I sleep when it rains.
I want to tell everyone I love them.
I want to find every stray animal and bring them home.
I want to wake up in your hair
and make you shitty coffee
and kiss your neck
and draw silly stick figures of us.
I never want to ask anyone else
So, when I asked you for a chai latte
what I meant to say was,
‘I was walking past, I saw you in the window
and I only came in here because I had to know
what your voice sounded like.’
But instead of saying that
I got nervous and just ordered
the first thing off the menu.
I don’t even know what the fuck chai is.
Or latte for that matter.
When God made you
he cussed for the first time.
He turned to an angel,
gave him a high five,
‘God damn, I’m good!’
You were that beautiful.
I spent the last five days trying to figure out
how I’m going to introduce myself to you properly.
I think I’ve finally figured it out.
It’s gonna be something like,
That’s all I’ve got so far.
But I think it’s a good start.
You see, I want that,
I want that
my friends think I’m crazy kinda love.
That reckless kinda love.
That, that wake up early
make you breakfast kinda love.
That crack open my life and say,
‘Look, you gotta see this,’ kinda love.
Forget the shallow stuff,
I want the deepest kinda love.
That every time I see you
I fall to pieces kinda love.
That I wanna stay up late
and tell you all my secrets kinda love.
I want that stand next to me kinda love.
That you are my destiny kinda love.
That no matter what happens
you always get the best of me kinda love.
That you get
this world gets the rest of me kinda love.
That you come home upset you don’t say nothing
I already know what to do kinda love.
I want love.
For the first time in my life,
I want to be in love.
Rudy Fransisco (via scribalcorruption)