My life is made up of ‘I’m sorry’. I feel like I have to apologize to people, to things, to life itself. It’s like, ‘I’m sorry to be here’. I don’t want to disturb anyone.
There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don’t know and even the people you don’t want to know, a crying that cannot be diluted by a brave deed or a kind word, but only by someone holding you as your shoulders shake and your tears run down your face.
Imagine your girlfriend taking photographs of you, not selfies, not “outfit of the day”, no Instagram bullshit. Actual photos. When you wake up, when you look at her, when you’re making love, when you’re cooking, when you’re taking a shower. Imagine if your girlfriend did that. This is a person who loves creating a visual documentation of the person she loves. You would cry at every picture she took because you know it’ll be purer than any other visual representation of yourself.
having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive, and it’s wanting friends while hating socializing. it’s like running a marathon with the willpower of a corpse because you want to get to the end but you also want to sleep and evaporate into the soil and become compost for snails and flowers because then at least you’re useful
I noticed when I started
really watching people laugh
no matter what may
be holding them down
for a little moment
they are thinking of nothing
but what made them laugh
so hard in the first place
with a short
but sweet release
so make the ones you love laugh
be with someone who makes you laugh
and give each other
the week leading up to your period is the worst its like playing russian roulette with underwear